What Is Your Favorite Lunch Meat

by Telling Dad on February 18, 2013

I was actually a big fan of sandwiches until my perception of the slabs of meat stored in the butcher’s case was forever tainted by an episode of “How It’s Made.”

For years I was able to sustain the belief that the perfectly shaped hams, turkeys, and salami rolls were delicately carved from various steers and pigs, carefully wrapped, and then delivered as-is to the local deli counter.

Instead, they showed how bits and pieces of said animals are mashed and blended with a wide range of chemicals and spices before being extruded like a giant pink turd through a machine that resembles a huge pasta maker. Only it doesn’t make noodles. What it makes are nauseating blobs of discolored meat paste that’s then cooked, colored, injected with flavoring, and wrapped for delivery.

Of course I’ve long known that there aren’t cows and pigs walking around the barnyard with oval cuts made from their buttocks but it was still a far more appetizing thought when I was able to convince myself that “sliced turkey breast” was actually sliced from a giant hunk of turkey breast, and not from a giant hunk of well-formed turkey putty.

Still, I’m able to block that memory from my brain once in a while to indulge in a nice sub or sandwich on rye. And when I do, my meats of choice are capicola hot ham, honey roasted turkey, and hard salami. Top ‘em off with lettuce and thin-sliced swiss cheese and you have yourself an extruded treat fit for a king.

I realize this is a really short post but how much can one really say about lunch meat? If there’s one topic out there that doesn’t need to be stretched beyond its natural lifespan, this is it. Second only to “What’s Your Favorite Saltine Cracker.”

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Ben Ashton February 22, 2013 at 1:56 am

What’s a saltine cracker?

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meg February 22, 2013 at 4:18 am

Greg, I can’t bring myself to watch stuff like that. You know.. educational stuff. Now, don’t me wrong.. I don’t watch junk like “reality shows” or Jersey Jerks, or whatever.. but I find the history channel a total snoozefest. Hubby loves it tho. So, from time to time, yes, I’ve caught this show, and I usually don’t care to see it. If I’d have seen how they made lunchmeat.. I may have turned vegetarian. Mmmmm.. meat.

For lunchmeats.. I like turkey, ham, (well done) roast beef, and the occasional salami / pepperoni, and spicy hams for things like italian subs. And about once a year.. I crave bologna and cheese. Probably.. the worst.. meat.. ever.

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Michelle C February 22, 2013 at 6:00 am

Nope. Sorry. What you watched was wrong. All my meat, ground beef, chicken, whatever, is born pre-packaged in the plastic as it is. It was never a real life animal and it never went through any sort of “process”.

That’s my story and I refuse to consider otherwise.

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karen February 22, 2013 at 6:54 am

We would all starve to death if we knew how any of our foods were treated before they reach the grocery shelves. I refuse to think about it. Just like I refuse to think about what possibly might have germs on it. If I did, I’d never go out of the house.

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athena February 22, 2013 at 7:58 am

This is why I can’t watch Food Inc! :) I read some book once about the food industry and ended up a vegetarian for 2.5 yrs. I came back for steak and bacon :)

Uh, but yes. Deli meat. I usually don’t buy it cause of the carcinogenic nitrites used as a preservative. I do try and make big roasts once in a while, beef roast or roast chicken, and then like to thinly slice the leftovers to use in sandwiches. So good!!

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Dianne February 22, 2013 at 1:09 pm

I grew up eating a lot of bologna but not the kind from the deli counter; it had to be the thicker, pre-packaged Oscar Mayer kind. I smeared it with a thick layer of peanut butter and rolled it up into a tube and ate it for lunch. Often.

Now, the thought of deli meat makes me cringe a little but every once in awhile I’ll enjoy some thin-sliced deli ham rolled up in a tortilla with some swiss cheese and warmed. Mmm…

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Bubbe February 22, 2013 at 3:33 pm

See this is why I stick with PB&J! But I do love me a nice BLT now and again. :)

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Beth February 22, 2013 at 8:35 pm

Roast beef with hard salami slices on rye or sourdough with swiss cheese. Yummeh. Add some tater salad and sliced onions to the sammich and it is omg good. Not as good as a Reuben sammich mind you but it’s a very close 2nd.

man. now I’m hungry.

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Minnesota Red February 24, 2013 at 6:06 pm

There once was a slab of lunch meat
that everyone thought was a treat;
so salty and pink,
yet caused one to think
“I wonder if I’m just eating feet”?

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Valerie February 25, 2013 at 10:30 pm

I could totally go for a roast beef samwich right now. Too bad it’s been ruined forever… ;0)

Hugs!

Valerie

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Christie Critters February 26, 2013 at 9:27 am

Black Forest Ham!
I can’t stand bologna – and it is my daughter’s favorite sandwich. We are “forced” to purchase it….
sigh.

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Deanna March 2, 2013 at 12:10 pm

I had to stop drinking milk after watching a dairy episode of “Dirty Jobs”

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Jenna March 4, 2013 at 5:59 pm

Oy….pink blob. Yummmmmmm….

*gag*

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merry March 11, 2013 at 5:59 pm

It’s been awhile. Hope you and the family are doing well.

Reply

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