SUBSCRIBE VIA RSSAm I crazy or has everyone forgotten the “social” part of social media?
Back when I was still speaking to Twitter, it was a place where I could enjoy succinct conversations with friends and family. I could hop on board and enjoy a steady stream of short little life blurbs. Today, it’s nothing more than a virtual wasteland of pimped out links and rotating shills.
The two-way avenues of engagement that once existed on Twitter have been replaced by one-way streets navigated by robotic auto-tweets. Looking at the first 20 tweets in my Twitter stream at the time of this writing, I see ONE link to a personal Instagram photo. The rest? Promos, giveaways, and #sponsored shout-outs.
I’m done with it.
Much like Charlie Brown mourned the commercialization of Christmas, I am mourning the commercialization and imminent death of Twitter. I don’t mean to imply that the platform itself is a dead medium. As long as companies see value in paying people to tweet to a world that’s long tuned them out, it will exist and persist. What I’m speaking of is the social aspect…and the fact that it’s been clubbed to death by friends pimpin’ to friends.
Every. Single. Day.
While there are plenty of folks on Twitter who still use it as intended, their voices are hopelessly muffled by all the surrounding white noise. Quite frankly, I don’t have the time and patience to weed through it any more. The amount of maintenance in unfollowing the commercially absurd just isn’t worth the hassle. I’d rather just make a clean break.
When people had to actually be on Twitter to post to Twitter, it was a different scene. You watched your stream, you engaged, you conversed. All this died with the advent of automated tools. Thanks to auto-tweeting, scheduled tweets, and triggered tweets, you no longer have to be tethered to the platform to exploit it, flood it, and populate it.
In the end, all it’s created is a paradigm shift away from social and more towards media. Thanks to all the automation being wielded by people powerless to stop themselves, tweet capacity and volume are now inversely related to tweet value and relevancy.
Case in point, there have been 234 updated tweets since I last checked at the beginning of this post. Clicking to expand, my stream is once again flooded with #win, #giveaway, #company-name, #promotion-name, #drink-this, #buy-this, #be-this, and #love-this type tweets. Of the 234, less than 20 were involved in conversation. All the others were just empty tweets to a barren landscape without eyes.
Granted, some people *want* to follow this kind of stuff on Twitter. They want to be notified of giveaways, they want to be alerted about coupons, and they want to know who the new Mayor is at the Chula Vista Chili’s. The problem is that people like me are caught in the crossfire. We’re nothing more than dead space. Collateral damage, if you will.
Well, no more.
Having grown weary of all the solicitation, I abandoned Twitter and instead shifted my focus to Facebook. Perceiving it as a more personal scene, I went through my Friends list and zapped anyone I didn’t actually know.
Last year, I went through a Friend collection phase where I added anyone and everyone as a “Friend” on my Facebook account. While the 4-digit Friends list looked impressive, it was vapid. I had no personal connection with 90% of the people in my list and they had no personal connection with me either. If it hadn’t been for a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, we never would have crossed paths in the first place.
Even though I never understood the obsession over scoring a bazillion followers on Twitter if the relationships were empty, I found myself doing the very same thing on Facebook. It was then that I went through a major purge, dumping more than 900 contacts. Heck, I can’t even call them contacts. Better to refer to them as complete and utter strangers.
I doubt any of them shed a tear.
For months I enjoyed family updates, news from friends, photo shares, and funny links that actually echoed the sender’s personality. It was about staying in touch…sharing the memories we’re unable to witness now that life’s currents have carried us all to different destinations.
But now, I’m seeing the beginning of the very same thing that killed Twitter for me. Instead of my Facebook stream being filled with life events, accomplishments, and photographic captures, it’s starting to become littered with political ads, controversial opinions, and the same spammy links I abandoned Twitter to escape.
I see less socializing and more chastising. Less sharing and more strong-arming. Less camaraderie and more judgement.
I see photos of aborted fetuses, pictures shared solely for the purpose of ridicule, and Photoshopped photos rooted in hate and social coercion.
I see opinions shapeshifting into pleas and demands for conformity. I see all the reasons why I shouldn’t do this, and all the reasons why I shouldn’t do that.
I see all the reasons why my life choices are inferior, and all the reasons why theirs should be adopted.
Most importantly? I see all the reasons why we weren’t that close in the first place.
If it’s a link to something you’ve written, something you’ve made, something you’ve accomplished, something you like, something about your family, your kids, your pets. That’s what I look for and that’s what I want Facebook to be for me. Even the occasional opinionated statement is expected.
But if you’re going to push your political views onto me and then recoil in anger if I disagree…if you’re going to blast people for their choices while reveling in your own…and if my wall is going to be a source of angst rather than happiness? Well, tranquility is only a mouse-click away.
I come to Facebook to relax, to engage, and to catch up. I don’t come there to argue or feel lousy. I choose to make Facebook my own personal oasis, and if that means I Unfriend more than I Friend? I’m fine with that.
Even if I’m left with no one other than my wife in my Friends list, at least I can log in knowing I won’t feel worse when I log out.
Get your shiz together people, before you kill Facebook.
Save the picketing for the sidewalks. If you’re brave enough to step from the living room to champion your cause.
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AHH! I SO get where you’re coming from. Lately the political propaganda alone has had me logging off of Facebook quicker than usual. I was even literally *JUST* thinking about this before I read your post. I totally agree. Social Media is just another oxymoron these days….
I feel your pain. I don’t post often to my own facebook, because I feel that I don’t have much to contribute all that often. My only statuses of late would be me saying.. still recovering from surgery. Hate it. Can’t wait to get back to work, but afraid at the same time, because I still feel kinda poopy. I can’t believe it’s been almost 3 weeks already and I don’t feel better than this. Why does my crap always end up more complicated than the “typical” for others? Yea, so this is why I haven’t been posting much. I depress myself enough without bringing others into it. But I do promise you, I try to avoid politics, religion, and advertising. I don’t like to see it on my own stream either.
You have the WRONG FB friends… You should add me!!
Sadly, I understand this so much. I commented on FB and was reminded that my opinion just causes conflict. I’m left with very few choices.. I don’t want to unfriendly people I WANT to be friends with, but what do I do when my newsfeed is overturned?
Yes, yes, YES!! Facebook is my coffee with friends, reserved for updates about kids, movie reviews and irreverence. Religion, politics, and personal angst aren’t invited!
This is why I have the following rules for my Facebook profile.
1. No political content no religious content. If it gets mentioned, I post about my rules, (see #3) and then handle it from there.
2. No “sharing” photos. When a photo is shared, it links to the photo and all of the comments from thousands of people. When I post a photo, I upload a fresh copy where I control who can see and comment.
3. I moderate all of my content. If someone posts to my wall or comments on a post that I do not feel should be there, I warn the person who posted it and if necessary delete it. If it continues I block the person from commenting or posting but they can still see the content.
4. All photo and status tags must be approved by me. Unless I say “Allow tag” my name is just plain test in a status or totally gone in a photo.
5. Avoid 99% of apps. If I see an app I want to try, and it requests permission to most as me, I switch the setting so that any posts can only be seen BY ME. If I notice that it is spammy, I kill and block the app.
6. Maintain status lists. This allows me to manage who sees what based on appropriate clearance or sense of humor.
5. If I do post something that is for mature audiences, I always type a large warning to ensure that the actual content is hidden so that way no one sees anything they don’t want to see, and also allows parent who may have kids over their shoulder or in their laps to see it.
Wow Greg, I’m feeling your words here. (not in a creepy way)
The political stuff makes me absolutely crazy.
I have to go now, but fear not, I’m tweeting and sharing your post to everyone I know, lol (no,seriously…I hope they read it)
Dude, I totally agree… I learnt some time ago that friends and followers aren’t everything….it’s about quality not quantity… I now make a point of checking out someone’s tweets before following back….even one sniff of a promotional tweet and I’m out of there!…
Having said that, I will be tweeting this blog link….so I guess I just joined the ranks of the hypocrites… I’ll just tell myself that it’s a sacrifice for the greater good…..
completely different posting this then an ad or anything of the like so you are still in the right lol.
Completely agree. Lately Facebook is really ticking me off, so I’ve been spending less and less time on there. Thank goodness for our blogs. No one can fill them with spam, and our right to control the social aspect and tone of conversation is entirely up to us!
Great post Greg, I too feel the same way, and posted a rant about the tearing down of others recently. Rather have less “friends” and “Followers” and still have conversations.
AMEN!!
Amen! Amen!!
My thoughts exactly! I never got into Twitter because, frankly, I couldn’t figure it out. I guess that was a blessing disguise. I have some friends on Facebook that were annoying me with political rants, etc, so I just blocked them so I can’t see them on my news feed. A couple are relatives, so I didn’t want to “unfriend” them completely!
Amen!
I am not a huge fan of twitter but I do love FB and seem to be the lone voice when I say, I also like debating politics, religion, etc with my friends. It is a good way to get a different perspective because if they are really your friends (and mine all are as I will not accept people who I only see on occasion or are friends of friends), it will not reach a level that makes you feel lousy. There are days when I don’t want to see/discuss it so I just scroll on by (or hit “hide story” button) and don’t engage. No big whoop.
A few people I know, actually know on FB, have said this as well and I’m glad that people are turning their heads this way because I think it’s a waste of space to place ads and games and apps and crap.
It is a GREAT marketing tool but lets not bombard news feeds with it please, right??
I get debating but their is a difference, I agree this whole platform was FOR US TO COMMUNICATE not advertise. It is part of our personality the places we eat at, shop, etc. However a limit should be set AND lets control ourselves with the qoutes and pictures….they’re not funny or inspirational EVERYDAY ‘k thanks!
YES!!! I used to get FB news from friends – how they were doing/what they were doing/how they felt. Now a huge percentage is: ads, politics, ‘I like Suzy Q Bakery’ promotions. I have a FB page, MyBadSheep, for my own jokey observations and fun experiences and I have my personal page – which too often gets cluttered with ‘crap postings’. And how is my young friend doing these days? She is quiet – or lost in the deluge of what can only be called SPAM. (And yes, locking down apps DOES help a lot. (And thankyou Sage, on ‘sharing’ – I didn’t realize this – but then, I seldom ‘share’ that way…)
Like so many others, Greg, I’m posting a link to this. It echoes, exactly, what I’ve been feeling about twitter and facebook, lately. I do know, from experience, that the political rhetoric will die down after November, thank goodness, but it is exhausting.
I was never thrilled with the idea of Twitter so I never bothered to create an account, but I am on Facebook and agree with what you said. I have barely over 100 “friends” and that’s fine, because they’re people I know (family, friends, people I went to school with, etc.). I never add anyone I don’t know because I have no idea if they’re a ‘spam’ account or not. I’d much rather read about the lives of my friends than to see a ton of ads.
I’m a recent Twitter-abandoner too for the same reasons. Retweets of junk that I don’t want to see!
I don’t mind political discussion on FB but what makes me nuts is that people see no need to be civil! It’s not just people who are abrasive or rude in real life either…seems like people who appear to be perfectly well-mannered in real life have no problems with name-calling and being mean online. I’ve gotten sick of it and find myself dropping or restricting people who feel the need to be rude.
One more rant on FB…everything you post has the possibility to be public! If I comment on one friend’s post, another friend of mine can see it even if they aren’t friends with the original person. I’m kinda scared to comment on anything…
I closed my Facebook account that was only opened to get high school reunion info., and never entered “Twitter-land”. Facebook just felt too much like work, and people I really don’t want to be in touch with kept trying to ‘friend’ me. I still have family and friends that say the only time they have is to post to Facebook, but I guess I’ll have to just miss out on the daily goings-on in their lives. I figure if something really important is happening, they’ll email me!
I’m right there with you.. I never bothered to tweet..(nobody wants to know about my sandwich) and I was on FB til about a week ago. I got tired of all the drama and what my wife refers to as “BegBooking”(is that a word???) I feel the same with the e-mail too.. The really important ppl have my e-mail and cell.. Drop me a line!!
Yeah I’ve never really been a fan of Twitter, for multiple reasons. I’m cool if you (in general, not specifically) want to tweet, but I don’t follow it and I don’t tweet or twit.
Facebook has been a bit more annoying lately but once elections are over that will also die down.
Is it wrong to use facebook to get ahold of Soldiers? Just making sure, I have a very hard time with getting them to answer the phone or read thier email.
Only if you’re trying to reach them because you want to sell the shizzle out of them or bury their Wall with political ads and abortion protests.
I agree, but I also hope that after November it will be better. Once the election is over, it should calm down- one can only hope.
I dropped twitter for similar reasons. I like connecting with people & you used to be able to do that but now I have to whittle everything down to a couple dozen people into a specific list just to be able to find real content.
My Facebook stream has been getting cluttered with political stuff & I’ve taken to either unfriending or blocking the people that are not open to discussion or varying opinions. The people screaming about how everyone should think for themselves seem to be particularly prone to this. Some of them have become so obnoxious I don’t want to be friends with them any more so I drop them cold. Some of them I know are just in throws of temporary political fanaticism & it will pass after the election because I’m 45 & have lived through this with them every 4 years since 1986. I just block them temporarily for now. One or two are edging toward being dropped though.
There is nothing left to say about this. Braaaaa-vo.
Truthfully, I have never been a big fan of Twitter, I am only there because I need to be there. I created my blog FB page long before my personal FB page, the blog page is whatever is posted on the blog, for personal interaction I much prefer on Facebook over Twitter.
I used to be on Twitter all the time. I mean ALL the friggin time. I got caught up in getting more followers & following more people. I lost sight of my friends. Literally. With all the giveaway posts, the post posts (which aren’t nearly as bad), & the #ads, I rarely saw any of my actual friends’ posts. I went back to work & started dropping off of Twitter. I see more of my friends on FB, but I’ve noticed that I’m also following a lot of people that I don’t need or want to follow anymore. Sites, that I only followed to gain entry for giveaways, “friends” who blast with their religious or political views (thinking of one specific person actually), but I can’t bring myself to un-friend them. I’m always afraid of hurting someone’s feeling, though I doubt they’d actually care, & so I’m stuck swimming through the bs, trying to find things & people I actually want to read about.
Um, wow, sorry for the short story.
And that, Greg, is exactly why I am not on any form of social media. That and I’m hiding from the bad guys.
I agree with you 100% and I am tired of seeing the same crappy ads and cartoons on FB. I like to read about what people are actually up to.
At first I was uncomfortable when my husband started using Facebook 3yrs ago but as my daughter’s heart failure continued to worsen this past year it became the only way we could let everyone know the ups and downs of her condition. People that otherwise would never hear of our plight were bringing my family meals, offering services and donating to Cota in her honor while I stay with her 3 hrs from home. She received her heart transplant a couple of weeks ago and has a long recovery ahead of her. I couldn’t imagine how we would be able to get word out about our needs and struggles without this social media. It’s not perfect but it has been a blessing in so many ways.
This is an example of how it should be used. And you’re right, it’s not perfect, but I wouldn’t blame the platform anyhow. I blame those who abuse the heck out of it.
I saw your link on a friend’s blog, and I pretty much blogged a response.
I’m going to post it here too. I guess the point is, these social media experiences are how we make them. And also, I’m annoyed by all the complaining.
I love Twitter. SO MUCH. And I like Facebook. A little. I am VERY cautious now about who I follow on Twitter. Just post quotes? I won’t follow back. Just post links? I won’t follow back. Just mini-blog without any interaction? I probably won’t follow. I look for well-rounded Tweeters. Those who have something good to say and those who talk to others. I also follow bloggers there. So I don’t mind the occasional blog-link pushing. I have so many blogs on my RSS reader and I don’t have time to read them, so I read blogs that pop up on Twitter. If I find a blog I like, the first thing I look for is their Twitter handle. Because that is how I will best a) be notified of a new blog and b) get to know the blogger.
I talk to people daily on Twitter. It might just be a few @ messages a day, but Twitter is still engaging for me.
On the other hand, Facebook isn’t fast enough for me. I can jump on Facebook and then go an hour later and not much is changed. BORING. But I’ve also noticed Facebook is evolving. People engage so many other places that Facebook is essentially becoming the RSS feed for their lives. Almost an “I’m engaging over here… Twitter, Goodreads, YouTube, Pinterest… come find me”. I like that Facebook is a central place to find out where else people are.
If a social platform stays stagnant, it will die. So they constantly evolve. Does that mean bad things will happen to it? Yes. But it also means there are a lot of awesome things that can be found too. These platforms are a lot of things for a lot of people. WE need to make it the experience we want it to be.
Personally, these are self-created experiences – who we follow, how we interact. I get annoyed by the complaints. But maybe that’s because I love social media so much, and I get a lot out of it.
well said! I am a big fan of the ‘hide’ feature on FB. There are people who I am friends with whom I do not share the same political beliefs and rather than get in a virtual fight I find that hiding their status does the trick for me.
I love your blog. I wanna be your friend. Can I? My last blog was about skunks…real life odiferous encounters. Pepe Le Pew at his sweetest and cutest.
I’m a writer and don’t know how to get connected any other way than on FB or Twitter. Don’t like LinkedIn and Google+ or Pinterest. Soooo…where do I go? A big Canadian EH? I’m not Canadian anymore, but I still brag about having dual citizenship when I was a spirited lively prairie girl.
I HATE POLITICS (opinions = solely mine), and I hate shooting cyber bullet”s (a.k.a., bible bullets), or picking up “christian” stones-to-throw. I’m a follower by choice but I’m not up-in-your-face, about, what-you-should-think. I do quote on a rare occasion.
I hope you don’t run the other way because I sound a tad quirky! Anyone?
I’m drowning in Twitter, getting eaten-up on FB, and my writing has gone down to a trickle.
I started hiding people’s feeds that I find too political or constantly ranting. You know what else I hate? The passive aggressive anger posts… If you’re mad at someone, just say it. Don’t announce it to everyone and hope they take the hint. Grow a pair and deal with your life.
UGH!!!
Hugs!
Valerie
I was going to write what Valerie wrote, so no need, she said it perfectly. I recently looked into hiding feeds since the political climate has gotten so hostile. Makes me not like my friends! Some things are really better off kept to yourself, do your job in the voting booth people!
I’m still enjoying Twitter and check it more frequently than I do Facebook which I check once or twice a day. I think the reason I’m still enjoying both is that I have always come at them from the opposite direction — the people I follow on Twitter or am “friends” with on Facebook are all people I already knew OR who are known by people I know. I have NEVER blindly accepted a friend request on FB and NEVER blindly followed anyone back on Twitter. I go look at their feeds/pages, maybe more than once, before I make up my mind (unless it’s reeeeally easy to make up my mind and say “nope” at first glance).
As a result, my Twitter followers are around 200 and a lot of them are people I never heard of but what the hell, who cares – most of them don’t post. I’m followING about 180. On FB I think I have something like 77 friends.
Once in a while, I’ll go through my Twitter account and “un-follow” people who have never posted or haven’t posted in a long time. Just did that last night, in fact. Housekeeping’s easier with a smaller “house”.
I think one reason you, Greg, have gotten so much spam is that you are, like or not, something of web celebrity. Combine that with a long list of friends/followers, and everyone and their uncle hopes you’ll endorse their product/idea by posting about it. My experience has been much more even-keeled…meaning most commercial interests don’t give two hoots about me online and that’s fine.
To be fair, I keep FB locked down pretty tight. Everything is “friends and family only” – very little stuff viewable by the public. As a result, I have a comfortable group of people I interact with on the two platforms, including some cross-over but not a lot. I’m not above un-friending someone whose posts get repetitious or incendiary, and have done so a few times in the past year; I doubt I’m missed.
On Twitter, I check the account of every person (?) I get notified is following me. Probably 75% of them are porn, spam, etc., and I don’t just ignore them, I actively report them as spam and actively block them, going on Twitter’s claim that, if an account, especially a new one, gets a whole lotta blocks all at once, they look into it and may kill the account; I know that’s happened a few times because I’ve gone back and checked.
After reading your post, I un-followed you on Twitter on the presumption that you aren’t going to be active there anymore. Should I maybe re-follow you… you know, just in case maybe?
Well said! I have purged my “friends” list to those who I personally know and CARE about what they have to say. My list is now quite small, but perfect for me.
Addendum: One other thing I think has helped me keep my Facebook manageable is that I NEVER use ANY Facebook apps. EVER. /mommiedearest
Facebook apps are, IMO, Petri dishes for the growth and dissemination of spam. I have yet to encounter anything I wanted to be part of that came packaged as a FB app that I couldn’t find elsewhere and couldn’t live without.
I bailed out of Twitter awhile ago for the same reasons. Facebook just gets better conversation going than Twitter and I’m never on at the same time as anyone. I just block my highly political friends from my feed so I don’t have to look at it.
Here, here!!! I agree wholeheartedly!