SUBSCRIBE VIA RSSI’ve never liked popularity contests.
Mainly because I never win.
Actually, there was that one time in high school where I was the sole recipient of the “Tallest” award, but there’s really no merit in that. It’s just genetics. A win by default.
When a bloggy buddy of mine shared on her Facebook Wall that she had nominated me to be on Babble’s Top 50 Dad Bloggers list, I was touched. Curious to know how many votes I’d received, I clicked on over to the nomination page and started to scroll.
And scroll.
And scroll.
Until I had reached alllll the way to the bottom where it listed that I had secured exactly ONE vote.
Hers.
Wheeeeeee!!!
Even more depressing was the realization that this Top 50 contest ended last year and the elite Dad blogs were already announced in October.
This was no longer the Nomination Page. It was the losers page. And I wasn’t even on the radar. Not overall, not in Funniest, not in Best Written. I was nowhere. Not even in Tallest. Granted, that wasn’t a category, but it would have been my only shot.
I wouldn’t begrudge anyone their time to shine in the spotlight, and I’m sure all 50 bloggers totally belonged there, but I have to wonder, are you all absolutely batshizzle crazy? I mean, you TELL me I’m hilarious and that I’m a solid writer, but what if we’re all just one small collective group that doesn’t know good literature when we see it? We must be nuts. To quote the 80′s pop singer who took me for almost a quarter million dollars back in the early 90′s, I Think We’re Alone Now.
I perused some of the blogs on the list and noticed that many of them only write two or three posts a month. How do they acquire and retain visibility at that pace? I go bananas if I don’t post for three days, fearing that the small fraction of the populous who remembers me soon won’t.
I guarantee you there are dozens of great blogs out there still undiscovered. Fantastic writers, far beyond my talent level, who will never get their 15 minutes because the spotlight doesn’t circle.
Not wanting to sound like some bitter loser, I’ll forgo my questions on how these lists are comprised…whether their based on content or vote solicitation, but I suppose it’s just my brittle ego that wonders why the only “Top Whatever” lists I make are from sites who want me to post their silly little banners in my sidebar.
There’s no merit there either. They’re just hoping to score some free ad space when I share with the world that I was among the “Frilly McBloggy Bottom’s Top 10,000 Central New York Caucasian Capricorn Dad Bloggers Who Have Three Kids” blog finalists.
I write because I love to write. I share because I love to share. Plain and simple, I like making people laugh. And I suppose my biggest reward is knowing that I brightened someone’s day. Or when I’m told that one of my posts helped turn a frown upside down.
But at the same time, I want it to be fulfilling. Everyone wants to feel valued…like they make a difference…like they matter. And all these Top 10, Top 50, and Top 100 lists do is depress the thousands not on them as all the vote pleas, inbound links, and “me me me” campaigns litter the social media landscape.
If I ever DO make it on one of these lists, I want it to be natural. Organic. I want to make a list because the editors and judges saw value in what I write and share. Not because I pounded my readership and Twitter followers with pleas to vote for me.
And if the fact that I don’t harvest votes means I’ll forever lack visibility and be standing in the darkened area of the stage, so be it. Because if I ever won a “Top” contest because I harangued people into doing it, I wouldn’t feel like I really won anything at all.
I’m honored that she nominated me and I’m touched that she even thought to do it. Quite honestly, that one unsolicited vote means more to me than a thousand “gimme votes” ever could.
And I thank her for that.
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In the interest of full disclosure, I did solicit votes to be included in the Hot Blogger calendar. Not because I deserved it, but clearly because I didn’t. Unfortunately, the calendar idea was ultimately scrapped. Probably because I won. So, that one doesn’t count.
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{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }
Um I have to say that the number clearly has to be wrong because if it was for last year’s list, I voted for you nearly everyday *that I remembered*. PS I would also say that these contests don’t do you justice at all! Who else could make it look like my first drink was the 50th.
Plus no one else is willing to bring a stick horse into a bar for a bunch of women to ride *or maybe they would*
Hahaha, all I did was hold the camera. I’m innocent!
This post rings so true – I agree with you wholeheartedly. You’re one of the top bloggers in my bookmarks and I appreciate your well written posts that don’t have week long gaps between them.
mark´s last post…What do you want?
There is a place called a trophy store that you can make your own. My friend made me one called “Best Female Gamer” and I accepted it with all the ego of an academy award. If I actually got an award I wouldn’t want all that paparazzi. Imagine having to look good at Walmart just in case someone was waiting to snap your picture in the trash can aisle. It’s better being out of the spotlight. You deserve to be in the top ten on that list. Apparently it is about who you know.
*Presents you with Best Dad Blogger” trophy. Sorry all they had were pink ballerinas for the top.
Woo hoo! Send it!
Give it time! There’ millions of bloggers out there and it’s going to take time for you to rise to the top, especially when you don’t go in for self-promoting. But it will happen if you keep being yourself and doing what you love to do. And I agree that frequency of posts will help.
You have to tell us that you’re up for a nomination BEFORE it’s done, not a year later. I’m no mathematician, but I am pretty sure that’s the only way to win…
Ha, when I know, you’ll know.
Dude, you are the top straight (i.e. heterosexually identified) dad blog on my must read list.
So, there, you have cross-cultural appeal. I know, I know … cross-cultural might be a stretch since I’m a married, white, middle-aged dad from the midwest but “gay” has to count for something, right?.
If I’d heard of your blog before this year, I’d have voted for you. For what it’s worth, I do think you will continue to gain readership just by being you and writing with your wit and heart and humor as you do so very well. I keep sharing your blog with folks I know and hopefully others are doing the same.
I have to say, I’ve never really been a blog reader until recently. Somehow, I stumbled upon yours (not by typing in some really weird question into Google, in case you ask), and I must say you have sucked me in! You may not have a dozen awards, but you have a new reader over here! I even passed some of your posts along to my mom and she finds you hilarious as well =) Happy blogging!
Hmm.. I don’t think it’s been a full year that I’ve been reading you yet, so .. IT’S NOT MY FAULT. =P I would totally vote for ya, if I knew about it.
For what it’s worth (nothing), you have my vote for whatever award you may want.
I read only a very select number of blogs. Yours is one of those ‘winners’ in my household!
From http://thebloggess.com
I f’ing love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
Telling Dad: Even Victor thinks he’s funny. No lie.
Ahem. This is more awesome that just about any award out there. You are the first on her list.
Rebeccah´s last post…Valentine Schmalentine
I was going to comment with almost the exact same thing. To have The Bloggess basically giving you the “thumbs up” on her page is WAY better than being nominated for some random blogger award. I found you through the link in her sidebar and am so, so happy I did! You’re a winner TD, and someday, you WILL get that award and we’ll all say we knew it would happen.
Oops. Sorry about the f-bomb…copy and paste, ya know?
Rebeccah´s last post…Valentine Schmalentine
I too came over from the Bloggess. I read exactly 3 blogs. Two of them are Jenny’s, the third is yours. I have tried others, I just find them lacking. My husband is also writer, unknown and awesome, like you. I know good material when I see it and you have it. Do what you love and the followers will come.
I found this blog from TheBloggess, also. My Google Reader list is FILLED with stuff, blogs included, but there are only a handful of blogs that I read every post of. Yours is one of them.
Keep up the good work!
Same. Same. Started reading because of the Bloggess link. That link is like being knighted by the queen.
Wouldn’t worry about the awards too much. By the looks of these comments, you’re doing just fine.
Same thing, found your blog via the Bloggess; love it!
I live in such a sheltered blog world that I didn’t even know there were awards. I happen upon blogs every so often and only a few get a place of honor in my Google Reader because, frankly, I don’t have time for crappy reading. I have four I read on a regular basis and one is my friend who does it just to update people so it doesn’t even count. I hope that makes you happy.
My day does not start without checking your blog. It’s that fun to read, thanks for keeping it going.
With comments like these, who needs awards.
Thank you all!
You are quite welcome. It’s not easy being hilarious without profanity (now, isn’t that a sad statement on society) and I am a big fan of this blog. Keep up the good work!
I’m so glad you wrote this today. I’ve been having the “no one knows I exist” thoughts circle around in my brain all week. I have to remember there is a lot of mega sponsorship backing the bigger bloggers and you’re right sometimes the “bigger” blogs aren’t the ones with the best content.
I absolutely love reading yours. I think I’ve been reading for at least two years now…if not longer. I’ve even roped my husband into reading your posts.
For the record, you are THE #1 Top Dad Blogger on my “to read daily” list of blogs… And the only one
SO THERE. 
I got hooked via a link from the bloggess.com site and my first read was the Plateau of Mathematical Learning. To start I had a double lung transplant in October and before that, laughing was not something I did. Well you had me laughing the hardest I have in years. Thank you for that. For the record, the only award I have ever won was the best Sunday school attendance for the year back in 1986. Love your blog!
Hey Greg, I just found your blog today when I was questioning how using profranity in a our blog was received.
“If I ever DO make it on one of these lists, I want it to be natural. Organic. I want to make a list because the editors and judges saw value in what I write and share. Not because I pounded my readership and Twitter followers with pleas to vote for me”
I don’t think it’s so black and white. That those who ask their readers to vote for them then got votes because they were asked to. There are times when youre not even aware a blog you follow has been nominated for something and it’s like a heads up. However, I do see where asking your readers to nominate you can look a bit much, but the readers aren’t obligated to, it’s not like by saying nominate me you’re also forcing them. They’ll do it because they want to and maybe even value your content. Or just look at your request and move along.
I’ve voted for people sometimes just because I like them as a person or their drive, and not so much because of what they create.
I have the same worries about who reads my blog and how many read my blog. So my girlfriend told me I could put this world map-thing on the top of my blog and it would tell me how many people look at it and where they are from. After I installed it, I found it sad to see that most of my “pings” are from foreign countries. Now at least I know where all my spam comments are coming from.
lol, I’ve considered adding something like that to my blog. Or the one that lists all the different locations of my visitors along with the time and how long they stayed. But decided against it, bc I didn’t need it thrown in my face that only my family visits my blog…
How funny that I didn’t know the contest was over. I saw the link on the one other “dad blog” I read and went over to see where you were on the list. To my shock & horror, you were not on the list but there was a place to nominate a blog….. and the rest is history.
I was more than happy to vote for you because you ROCK! I even read your posts to my husband while we are in bed and he cracks up. It makes for a great way to end our nights.
You can count on me for anytime you need a vote for anything.
HUGGLES!!
1. I think the fault lies in your SuperPAC not doing their job adequately.
2. I am totally moving you to the top of my list of Capricorn bloggers.
You’re awesome! I always love your comments, lol.
I just found your blog this week, organically. And then added you to my exclusive list. Clearly, you don’t suck.
I’ve been reading for a few weeks, and I love it! You inspire the writer inside me… But for fear of stealing your votes, I shall refrain…lol. Whatever you do, keep ‘em coming!
You’re aces! And Tall!
Two awards unless they get cheesily combined into the Ace of Tall or something stupid like that.
WG
WilyGuy´s last post…True Love and Other Horse Hooey
Greg, I too, found you through Bloggess. And although it’s a big compliment that she thinks you’re funny, I think it’s a BIGGER compliment that VICTOR thinks you’re funny!! (this is the man that doesn’t like Beyonce the chicken for land’s sake!!)
You do you, Greg. And those that enjoy you will continue to follow!
Hey, for what it’s worth, I love your blog!! I check it near daily, and I frequently “force-read” it to my husband, but he always laughs when I do. As an additional bonus, I can tell you that “procrastiurination” has now made its way into our regular vocabulary! Genius, that one! Please keep the funny comin’!!
Well, I have to say, I have commented on your blog more than any other blog. Also, you are one of the few I read that doesn’t have some sort of hidden agenda to make be do more craft projects. (Yes, I know I search them out, -don’t judge me!)
I love your writing style and parenting style or at least what you show us of it, (who knows you may be out back beating them kids in the woodshed and I wouldn’t know that because I am not a stalker!) And if you are out there beating them and it works, could you let me know????
Keep on Keepin’ on, and when you are big and famous, those of us commenting now, will get in fights in the comment with the newbies and we can all have a superiority complex because, ‘we knew him back in the day man…’
Well clearly you did not read all of your comments yesterday, since you obviously missed the Liebster Award I passed on to you. And there’s even a little award thingie for you to copy and paste to your Blog just because I, a random unknown blotter loves you in a non-creepy, non-stalker kind of way.
If it makes you feel better, I’ve been at this for a year and a half and almost never get comments. What are you complaining about, Mr. Popularity???? Isn’t my loving your writing enough? I feel so inadequate now! So thanks for that….heehee
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Chelle´s last post…Today I’m Over Here:
And that should say blogger, not blotter. Clearly, my kindle auto correct enjoys making me look like an idiot!
I just keep laughing that you got an award for being tall. Was it self-esteem day?
And I would totally nominate you for the Frilly McBloggy award.
I was all honored a couple of weeks ago to be nominated for The Versatile Blogger award; a little less so when I discovered that part of the acceptance process involved me needing to nominate 15 other blogs. How long until we all have that little green stamp in our sidebar? (I accepted it anyway. I’d call myself a whor- but that might violate your no-f-bomb rule)
Well I’m batshizzle crazy, but you knew that already. Being BSC is fun; it keeps The Free Range Stupid confused and the wound-up-so-tight-if-they-stuck-a-lump-of-coal-up-their-bums-in-thre-days-they’d-have-a-diamond away.
“But what if we’re all just one small collective group that doesn’t know good literature when we see it” — it’s not like you’re Tolstoy or Nietzsche, but you are a good writer. You can spin almost anything into a funny and that’s not an easy feat. Plus the internet is HUGE and saturated with blogs. Unless you hit a good Stumble you’re kind of screwed.
When I first started blogging, I was up for a bunch of awards, lists for humor blogger, etc. I was even asked to write for some other online magazines. Popular ones, at that. I felt honored but not worthy because I had been blogging a handful of months, not years. Now I wish I had accepted those writing gigs. LOL I’ll likely never win any popularity contests. I’m bitchy and sarcastic and don’t really care who doesn’t like me. I also cannot bring myself to shamelessly stump for votes. I don’t beg. It’s not in me. So I’ll stay on the fringes of the spotlight with you and some other very good company. Principle means more than fame. Unless, of course, that fame also comes with a 6 figure yearly salary. Then I may have to swallow the morality for a better cause and the secured comfort of my family. Plus I want a new mini-van.
Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity´s last post…Top 10 Last Minute Valentine’s Gifts NOT To Buy For Your Woman. Unless You Want To Get Kicked In The Nuts.
I would totally vote for you if I knew about it!!
Love your blog…you’re the only “dad blog” I read! 
I just discovered your blog and I think it’s a good one! I think the trick with those contests is to pimp yourself out.
I read a total of 4 blogs and you are one of them. BTW, one of the 4 is mine, so that probably doesn’t count. Keep up the good work, I love it
Then there are those of us who strive for obscurity. I blog anonymously so the family won’t find out I’m ranting about them. Being known would ruin that! Greg, you’re the ONLY dad blog I read regularly; love your stuff!
I also found you from The Bloggess. I don’t read many blogs at all, so I don’t go searching for award sites, but when a blogger I love (ie: you, Jenny Lawson, Allie Brosh, and CuteOverload) tell me that they’ve been nominated, I am happy to go vote. I love being cheerleader.
It’s not cheating the system to tell us if you’ve been nominated. I WANT to vote for you! I WANT to give other people the opportunity to discover you like I did! Don’t deny me the excitement of seeing my favorite blogger win an award.
You absolutely do not suck.
You are the only Dad, or male authored, blog that I read regularly.
You are one of the few blogs I get in my email so I don’t miss anything.
You rock!
How you get to the top of those thing is you notify your readers that you’re on the list and harass them to vote for you, every day, for weeks. It’s the same for Mom bloggers, many of the “top” ones are not that interesting or well done. It’s a straight-up popularity contest so if you don’t know you’re running, how can you expect to win? Pretty cool that you were on it at all! It means a fan nominated you.
I only follow 3 blogs and you are one of them. And…you are the only dad on my list, as well. You are definitely vote-worthy, and not just for being tall! I have suggested your blog to several of my friends who love you, too!
I don’t comment much but I do read your blog regularly. You are also the only dad blog that I read and I think you’re a great writer! My opinion is that most of the bloggers that get the awards are simply rubbing elbows with the “right” people. You just keep doing what you do best. If the awards come, great and if they don’t, it just means you don’t have crap on your nose!
We cannot measure ourselves according to a list or the Joe next door. If I did that I would be in hiding in a corner wrapped in a blanket of depression while stuffing my face silly with Oreo cookies. I write for a living and I like to think I do it well, but it comes with a lot of hard work. I’m not one to quickly write a phenomenal anecdote. I need to think and believe me that takes time and lots of hot cocoa. I don’t work well on tight deadlines. I like my assignments planned out weeks in advance. Enough of me, you don’t suck. You’re great at what you do. And who cares if others do it or maybe better? What matters is that you’re Good Enough, you’re Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like YOU!
I only follow a handful of blogs, and look forward to reading yours regularly. So, what’s the reference to Tiffany?
Well, I read probably a dozen parenting blogs and yours is my only “dad” blog. So there’s that. And the fact that you were endorsed by The Bloggess. All I needed to see was that SHE thought you were worth reading and I have been all ears (well, eyes…) ever since. So that was technically one vote and it had far-reaching implications.
Please keep up the good work- your blog is hysterical and makes me lol on the regular.
Being very new to the blog world I spend much more time reading blogs than writing them (all in the name of learning of course). I think I found your blog 5 days ago and been back everyday since! You are intelligently hilarious – or is that hilariously intelligent. Whatever. You get the picture. Love your writing!