Rather than overthink my blog posts, which has resulted in countless topics being scrapped, I’ve decided to just write when the moment strikes. Regardless of what kind of goofy drivel flows from these fingertips.
Case in point:
I want to be recognized as the #1 authority when it comes to helping people learn how to reheat an Arby’s sandwich. Think this sounds stupid now? Just wait until I explain it.
Having an hour to kill while my oldest son was at his guitar lesson, I decided to take the two younger ones to Arby’s for dinner. Usually, I grab two Regular Roast Beef sandwiches and a bottle of water. After ordering my two Arby’s sandwiches, the cashier suggested that I get FIVE regular sandwiches because of some “5 for $5.95” dealio they were running. For only forty cents more I’d be able to ratchet up my fat and caloric intake by 150% on the cheap.
Not wanting to look like a fiscal idiot, I took her up on the offer and watched the roast beef pile up on my tray. I really had no intention of eating five of these babies but it did seem kind of silly to pass up three sandwiches that would cost like $.13 each. At the least, I figured I could always reheat an Arby’s sandwich as needed over the next few months.
I brought the three completely unnecessary sandwiches home with me and stocked them in the fridge. Initially, I was just going to toss them, but, why throw away forty cents worth of meat? Financial sense aside, they’d make for a great late night snack now that my dieting days have eased.
When late night snack time arrived, I put a sandwich in the microwave to reheat it and zapped it for 45 seconds. The result was a pile of some sort of rubbery gray substance with burnt edges and a now-mushy sesame seed bun.
Knowing I was still ahead of the game, I tossed the $.13 sandwich in the trash and turned to the toaster oven to reheat Arby’s sandwich #2. I guessed at 350 degrees and left it in there for a few minutes. The result? Cold roast beef with a now-burnt sesame seed bun.
Clearly, I sucked at reheating Arby’s, and outside intervention was needed.
Down to my last sandwich, and now on a personal quest to succeed at this, I turned to Google. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I searched for:
Surprisingly enough, four or five others out there in America were befuddled by the same burning question. A question so legit that it even appears multiple times on Yahoo Answers. I couldn’t find a Wikipedia or Squidoo entry so I think I might add this to my To-Do list. How awesome would it be to dominate the search engines when it comes to reheating Arby’s sandwiches?
I mean, who wouldn’t want to be the world-renowned expert in Arby’s sandwich reheating? It’d be a resume bonanza, assuming I ever needed one after the ensuing fame.
In the end, for those who need to know how to reheat an Arby’s Sandwich, here’s how I did it:
1. Unwrap the sandwich from the foil so that you don’t ignite your microwave.
2. Place the bun in your toaster oven and toast on the “Light” setting. You don’t want it toasted, per se, but the microwave will just turn it into a spongy paste-like mass that somewhat resembles what once used to be recognizable as a bun.
3. Place the Arby’s roast beef in a microwave safe bowl. Little known cold Arby’s roast beef tip: You’ll start with a big clump of roast beef. Without tearing, peel away each slice so that they sit loose in the bowl.
4. Sprinkle some water on the roast beef so that the microwave attacks the water droplets and not the fringe of your roast beef slices.
5. Microwave on high for 20 seconds or until the reheated Arby’s roast beef starts to snap and crackle like well-seasoned firewood.
6. Reassemble your sandwich and enjoy restaurant-quality fare without the worry, rubbery bites, or crisp edges. I should mention that Arby’s recommends against reheating an Arby’s sandwich, but remember, they’re out to sell more sandwiches. Every reheated Arby’s sandwich is one less sold. Don’t buy into this recommendation. With my tips on how to reheat an Arby’s sandwich, you are free to reheat with reckless abandon.
There you have it. How to reheat an Arby’s sandwich, Telling Dad style. Now we’ll see if I can’t get on the first page of Google for this advice. I won’t rest until it’s accomplished.
Hey, we all need goals, right? And I don’t sit here mocking yours.
At least, not out loud.
Do you want to share how to reheat an Arby’s sandwich? Want to help me get to the top of Google when people search for advice on how to reheat an Arby’s sandwich? Just link to this post with the full URL and you’ll be more than just a part of the experiment. You’ll also be a part of the solution.
Believe me, hungry Arby-ers saddled with cold leftovers will thank you. Now, more than ever, your assistance is needed. At least, until they repeal this ridiculous 5 for $5.95 “flood the nation with roast beef” mentality.