Last week I published a post that gave people the impression that we had to declare bankruptcy due to financial ruin.
While I felt bad that I had caused so much unnecessary worry, I must admit that all the concern actually felt pretty good. It meant people cared.
Still, I want people to know that we’re fine. Our house is still standing but for a few kitchen cabinets about to lose their battle with gravity, the lights are still on (usually all of them), and our kids aren’t starving. Well, to hear them tell it, they ARE starving because our lopsided cupboards are severely lacking in preservatives and artificial flavors.
Money has never really been all that important to us. Sure, we love having it, but we don’t obsess over trading precious life hours to acquire more than we need. While we’re not affluent, we’re not destitute either. But I realize that my post gave people’s tickers a bit of a jolt.
I was talking with Heather about how we can assure people that we’re okay without publishing bank records, and then it hit me. We’ll do what rich folks do when they want to ostentatiously demonstrate just how rich they are and just how little money means to them. We’ll burn some bucks in defiance.
Fearing it was a Federal crime to destroy money, we felt it best to enlist the help of a minor who didn’t know any better. As luck would have it, my sister’s family was visiting for the weekend and my 2-year old nephew was all too willing to help an uncle out. And with that, the proof was captured in a photo.
So, tell me this. If we were irresponsible and broke, would we dare let our hard-earned money go up in flames like this? I think not.
Oh, and before you all write about how worried you are over this photo, understand that there’s plenty more Washingtons where this came from.
Fireproof Disclaimer: My wife is afraid that people are going to freak out and go completely nuts over the photo of our nephew burnin’ a dollar. People can get pretty protective when it comes to money.
So, while I wanted the post to stay as-is, I suppose it’s best to prove that I enlisted the help of Photoshop to burn currency, and not an unsuspecting toddler as I originally claimed.
It’s for the best. The world doesn’t need another fake photo scandal and we certainly don’t need any knocks on our door. Especially after that whole parking lot incident.
After bringing all the photos together, all it needed for a final touch of realism was a reflection of the flame in his eyes. That, and a post to infer that we don’t belong in the presence of children.
Oh, and before the uber-sensitive go bananas over him even holding a fire stick, note that even if he had the strength, dexterity, and finger length to try and activate it, it’s turned so he can’t. That and his bad uncle handed it to him just long enough to snap the incriminating photo.
I hate that this disclaimer even has to be written. The compulsion to remain P.C. sucks all the fun out of it. I’ll probably have him burn a copy of Miss Manners in protest.