Thank You, Men’s Wearhouse!

by Greg on June 7, 2010

Being 6′ 7″ I don’t have much luck finding clothes where all of you normal people shop. I’m usually ushered through the “Men” and “Women” departments to a back, back, way back wall where a hand-scrawled sign reading “Sasquatch” dangles from cracked ceiling panels.

There, illuminated by flickering flourescents in the dim lit nether regions of the store stands a rack of clothes that would be rejected by the local Goodwill. Of the five outfits in my size, three would get me beaten up on sight and the other two may as well have “I’m a Goober” Bedazzled on the back.

I realize there are stores dedicated to Big & Tall guys but I have yet to find something that doesn’t whittle away at my psyche. What is it with Big & Tall clothing designers thinking that we don’t care about fashion?

Do they assume we’ll be grateful enough to even have clothes that we just won’t care what the garments look like? Apparently, beggars and tall people can’t be choosers.

One of the major obstacles for me is that the Big & Tall departments seem to exist for people who are literally Big AND Tall. What I need is a “Big and/or Tall” shop. I need to be able to ask for a Size 15 shoe without a chuckle or someone handing me a room key.

I need a shirt that makes people say, “awww, he looks nice” rather than, “awww, at least he found something.” And I need a pair of 38×38 pants. Something that must be a universal anomaly considering they’re harder to find than unicorns.

Designers need to realize that over time, the human race has evolved, and we as a people have grown taller and taller throughout the ages. Where the average human adult was roughly three feet tall back in the 1940’s, the average height of an adult today is 5′ 6″.

Every industry on earth has made the necessary adjustments outside clothing and airplane seat manufacturers. This lack of vision has resulted in a legion of cramped fashion disasters and I don’t think wanting a few wearable outfits is too much to ask.

This past weekend my wife and I hit the streets in search of clothes for my gargantuan frame and we met with the usual frustrations. I feel like such a freak traipsing from store to store in search of clothes that fit and I’m so sick of t-shirts being my only refuge.

frankengreg

Heather has consistently suggested that I try Men’s Wearhouse but I always scoffed at the idea because I thought they were all about suits. I just wanted some casual wear for the upcoming EVO Conference so that I could ditch the hobo look and aim for something a bit more presentable.

I reluctantly gave in knowing I couldn’t do any worse and even had her wait in the car since I wasn’t expecting to be in there for long.

But when I walked in? It was like my own personal Big & Tall Fashion Mecca. They had kickin’ shirts and even 38×38 pants. The guy who greeted me was a bit taken aback by the long hug, but he saw what I was wearing when I walked in and said he understood. He patted me on the back and whispered, “Shhhhh. It’s okay. You’re with us now.”

After some awkward glances from the store manager, I wiped my tears and fawned over each and every rack of clothes. 2XLT…the most elusive acronym on the planet…was everywhere. For the first time in my life, I was shopping. Actually shopping.

And I went crazy.

I was tossing shirts in the air and spinning beneath them with outstretched arms until they gently draped over me in slow motion. I was trying things on in an actual dressing room and giggling like a deranged school boy when the cuffs fell as they should. The whole experience was surreal to me.

William, the gentleman who helped me, was awesome. I found a casual suit coat that I just HAD to have and he built me a mini-wardrobe around it. Talking all about colors and why this can go with that and why that can’t go with this. Matching clothes on purpose? Who would have thought! I felt so liberated.

And equally clueless.

I’ll probably have to call him when dressing myself in the morning because I don’t fully remember what he was saying about certain blues going with certain tans. I don’t know. Something about clashing denim or some such thing.

Some may laugh at my inability to figure out what goes well with what but I’ve never really had any practice. Prior to that day, my clothes matching skills were limited to knowing that I’d need a shirt and a pair of pants. Colors and patterns were of no consequence.

After we blazed through $700 in under 20 minutes he asked if I needed shoes and I explained that I can’t ever find them in my size. I almost proposed to him when he said they carried each style up to a Size 16.

I. Was. Home.

In the end, I escaped the store sub-$800, which was roughly $700 more than intended, but it was worth every penny to not wake up the next morning with buyer’s remorse.

I’m going back before EVO because there were a few outfits I had my eye on and I’m kind of liking the fact that I get to wear real person clothes at the conference. I just hope the ladies can control themselves. I’ll be entering every room with ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man” blaring on my iPod.

So dress cool, everyone. It’s about to get hot in Utah.


[DISCLAIMER]
I know there’s a big whoop-di-do over FTC disclosure on sponsored posts but this isn’t one of ’em. I was not paid for this post nor was I compensated in any way. In fact, if you think about it, I paid THEM $800 to be able to write it. They should be the ones writing a disclaimer about ME. Perhaps I’ll hit Twitter and rally @Mens_Wearhouse for full disclosure.

{ 23 comments }

Jennifer @ J. Leigh June 7, 2010 at 3:01 pm

I just had to leave a comment and tell you I love reading your posts! you crack me up! If Men's Warehouse doesn't make you an official spokes person for them then they are crazy! I just
.-= Jennifer @ J. Leigh Designz´s last blog ..Baggo – The Official Bag Toss Game {Review & Giveaway} Discount Promotional Code & Free Shipping! =-.

Hockeymandad June 7, 2010 at 3:14 pm

I have the same problem, but on the opposite end of the spectrum. I am kind of in-between men's sizes and boys.
.-= Hockeymandad´s last blog ..Perfect Laziness =-.

wheels209 June 7, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Hey Greg,

Frankengreg!!! Priceless!!! Glad you found things to wear that you could feel good about.

Take care my friend.

wheels209

Donda June 7, 2010 at 3:33 pm

OK, first off I giggled when you said size 15, don't be mad 🙂 and I am having a hard time picturing your head on a 38 x 38 body…but I am loving your blog!
.-= Donda´s last blog ..Portland and Power Lines =-.

Cheryl June 7, 2010 at 3:34 pm

I think you should take some pictures of you and your fancy threads. I find it hard to shop for Adam and he's only 6'3"!!
.-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Alternative Therapies? =-.

Telling Dad June 7, 2010 at 3:40 pm

@Jennifer – Thank you! And with comments like that, you're going to be oozing good karma (in a good way).

@Hockeymandad – Doesn't it suck being in fashion purgatory? There doesn't seem to be a happy medium. Until MW, of course. 🙂

@wheels209 – Thank you and I definitely feel good about the new threads although I was a bit blinded by so many choices. Hopefully they'll still look good once the shock and awe wears off.

@Donda – Everyone giggles at 15. Especially in bowling shoes. It looks like I'm skiing. 38×38 does sound weird, but I'm just tall, not boxy. 🙂 6'7" and 240. Not lean, not mean, just every bit of goodness in between.

@Cheryl – I'll be vlogging the bajeebers out of EVO so you'll have to wait. 😉

Donda June 7, 2010 at 3:50 pm

Perhaps you could invent a new game, ski-bowl! The hills would be alive with the sound of ….bones breaking 🙂
.-= Donda´s last blog ..Portland and Power Lines =-.

Gena June 7, 2010 at 4:36 pm

WOOOHOOOO I can't wait to see the new clothes you will be digging!
.-= Gena´s last blog ..Giveaway Monday June 7, 2010 Lots of Giveaways to Enter! =-.

Kim June 7, 2010 at 4:52 pm

I would love to stand next to you one day…& have someone take a pic. I'm one of the unfortunate souls who didn't make it to "average" size (5' 1"). I love the mental pics you give me! I can see you hugging the salesman!

Congrats on getting stylish clothes that fit!!
.-= Kim´s last blog ..Do You Like Getting A Deal? =-.

Lone Pine Photograph June 7, 2010 at 5:51 pm

I feel ya brother. I'm 6'9 and feel the exact same way about shopping. When I was married, every once in a while I would come home to bags of clothes to try on, and occassionally I got to keep something because it actually fit. In the last couple of years, I've determined that it was easier to have clothes tailored than purchase them in department stores.

Having said all of this, I still love being a tall guy!

Luke

Sandra June 8, 2010 at 1:22 am

I so just shared this with Men's Warehouse – Remember me when you in your first commercial! – You are great with words and I enjoy them to the fullest.

MrsTellingDad June 8, 2010 at 2:43 am

Sure, get dressed up for all the other thousands of women in your life 🙂 I hope Gena and Kadi enjoy. Have fun!

chelsea June 8, 2010 at 2:59 am

I'm not even sure how I found your blog… I think another blog – mom to bed by 8, told me to go here and watch a video. Not sure what she was talking about, but I'm glad I got sent to THIS post…. mister, you are HILARIOUS! I want to hug you just like you hugged the salesman, just because you've seriously brightened my day.

Sherri Anderson June 8, 2010 at 3:41 am

Hi

I loved this post. I've never heard a man talk this way about shopping. Finding a great store with great stuff is the best! Glad you had a good experience.

I love the part where you hug the guy. too funny.

love your posts.

Now following you…

Sherri

Jenny June 8, 2010 at 9:01 am

You're hilarious! Now I can tell my 6'9" tall ex-who-i'm-still-friends-with-even-if-that's-weird he has no excuse to look ridiculous. As long as he has $800. He normally shops at Walmart. And consistently asks me why he can't get any ladies.

And you know what? People were three feet tall in the 1940s. That's how they could fit in those tiny cockpits of the fighter planes. Yeah, I know me some history.
.-= Jenny´s last blog ..It's all about the comments. =-.

Chris @ CleverFather June 8, 2010 at 5:13 pm

Ugh, I hate shopping for clothes. Luckily I am an average height, makes my mad dash through the clothing store quick and painless.
.-= Chris @ CleverFather´s last blog ..Children vs Blog: Juggling Family Life and Blogging =-.

Jamie June 8, 2010 at 6:38 pm

I have the same problem in an ironic way. You'd think with all the hip women's fashions out there that I would be able to find something that 1) fits my style (young Mom who's still pretty hip), and 2) fits my body.

I have two kids and that ever sought-after hourglass frame. Seriously you'd think it was the greatest thing ever to have a little middle, and a curvy bottom. Try finding a pair of jeans/shorts/slacks that fit over all that without the open-to-the-public fanny flap that shows the world what color undies you're wearing. You know, the waist is too big so there's a clear view down to your bottom!

And let's not forget only A-line skirts are available for this frame. Too curvy for pencil skirts, unless those extra thigh bone bumps are SUPPOSED to be visible. It's ridiculous. I had to be the one person on earth who can't wear decent clothes because, like you, I am not the average woman's shape. People say they envy my figure, I envy the clothes they get to wear!
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Celebration! =-.

Lisa @ Crazy Adventu June 9, 2010 at 7:55 am

OMG, I laughed so hard at the “I’m a Goober” bedazzled part. And the FrankenGreg cartoon. And the room key part. Okay, the whole thing. You're friggin' hilarious! (And now awesomely dressed, too!)
.-= Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting´s last blog ..Chicken Tater Tot Casserole with Tyson Grilled and Ready™ Chicken Fillets (& Giveaway!) =-.

Melinda June 10, 2010 at 2:43 am

this post needed a pic, of you twirling around with shirts floating down in the air LOL
.-= Melinda´s last blog ..iFrogz CS40's Headphones Comfy for Kids, Perfect for Dad Review and Giveaway =-.

trisha haas June 10, 2010 at 3:12 am

Greg, this same thing happens to me becuase I am short. I am expected to shop in the "wish i was 14 and could fit in these jeans" dept or the "petite and granny" shops.

My warddrobe consists mainly of solid color hanes Ts.

trisha
.-= trisha haas´s last blog ..My daughters pictures stolen and used in ad =-.

karen June 12, 2010 at 3:28 pm

Same problem here only the opposite….I am short and "robust". All the Plus size women's clothes are made for old lady matrons……nothing stylish.
.-= karen´s last blog ..Surprise! =-.

Diane Ridgway-Cross June 13, 2010 at 2:23 pm

Hi Greg!

I'm the new chief marketing officer at Men's Wearhouse and I happened to stumble upon your blog this evening. I've only been in the job for 4 months — so hearing from happy customers is a new thrill to me.

Thanks for the shout out! I am so glad that you found some success at MW… (You should try shopping us online too — we've got an even greater selection of Big & Tall on the website – especially in casual clothes.) My brother and brother in law are both Big & Tall, so I feel your pain.

Thanks again!

Diane

Melinda November 6, 2010 at 6:47 am

I'm new to your blog and reading your older posts while sitting in a pedicure chair and I'm laughing out loud looking like a crazy person in this place.

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