Now Offering Cool Lessons

Ever wish you could get paid to party?

You’re about to thank me.

I just totally signed up over at RentSomeone.com after I stumbled across the most awesomest job category in the history of job categories. Where were these guys back in the 90′s? I could have retired before graduation.

RentSomeone.com is a legalized human trafficking site where you can rent people. Short term, long term, it really doesn’t matter. The point is that they have positions ranging from corporate lawyers to pen pals. Yes, you can rent a pen pal!

But it gets a ton better.

When I saw “How To Be Cool Specialist” and “Drinking Buddy” as available job categories? My registration was immediate.

Who wouldn’t want to hire me? I’m a lightweight when it comes to drinking, so I’d be cheap company, and people tell me I’m kinda funny when I drink. People also tell me I’m funny when I’m sober, but not that kind of funny. Man, I gotta hang out with myself some time.

If you take a peek at the available “Around the House” job categories, you’ll probably spot a few that you’re perfect for as well.

This assumes, of course, that they approve my submitted profile. Lord knows I’m probably overqualified in both positions.

If you think you can handle a new level of cool, I want to hear from you. Renting me is easy. No credit check, no minimum hours, and no surcharges.

I hope someone calls on me. Even if I’m not the epitome of cool, I can still bring game to the likes of someone who has to pay people to drink with them.

Forget the Army. RentSomeone.com can help me be all I can be.

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