May the Gavel Precede Justice

Update: For those interested, the local newspaper is providing an in-trial blog as the proceedings continue. Not that this creep is anything to look at anyhow but they chose quite a sinister photo for the header.

I can’t begin to imagine the surge of emotions Marci will experience tomorrow as she walks through those courtroom doors to face the monster that ripped three precious souls from her life.

I can’t imagine the hammering she’ll take in her chest as her heart thumps and thumps and thumps in anticipation of the misery to come. Knowing that a flood of unwanted memories is about to be brought back full force. In full color.

I can’t imagine having to sit calm and still as the jury files in. Standing to acknowledge the judge and then watching the routine mechanics of the judiciary process without being able to unleash the wails that remain suppressed within.

I can’t imagine how alone she’ll feel sitting in the witness chair as she’s asked to point to the accused. Pointing to a man who once embraced her as his wife. A man who once cradled the very children he slayed as they sat strapped in their car seats. A man who shot and killed her mother for no other purpose than spite.

What I can imagine is the slam of the gavel as the court system meanders its way through the methodical pursuit of justice. I can imagine Marci’s strength and her resolve. She’s truly an amazing person. Here, she has every reason to collapse and shut down, and no one would blame her for that, yet she remains strong. In her mind, he’s already taken the lives of her children and her mother, and she absolutely refuses to ever allow him to take hers as well. Not physically, not mentally, and not emotionally.

With every strike of the gavel we move one day closer to justice being served upon him. Justice for James IV. Justice for Macy. Justice for Margaret. Justice for society. Perhaps I’ll take some flak for this stance but I want the final strike of that gavel to precede the needle. Don’t let this coward, this shell of a man, this demon, live with the sick and twisted satisfaction he carries.

While Marci may be sitting alone on the witness stand tomorrow, she knows that she’s lifted up and supported by friends, family, and a community that was rocked to its core on the morning of June 8, 2009.

I can still hear the loud inconsolable cries of my wife as she collapsed on the family room floor upon hearing that the children were found in the backseat of his car. She had already learned of the fate of her Aunt Margaret and now her fears over the children’s safety were realized.

She lay there crying out for the children, crying out for Margaret, and crying out to God, asking why.

What follows are sure to be days filled with anger, mourning, and rage. More questions than answers will come forth and the emotional pain will be too much for some to keep at bay.

But in the fallout of tragedy comes hope and this is why I created the Sweet Dreams Fund. I felt that something had to happen to keep the memories of James IV and Macy alive, and donating pillows, coloring books, crayons, and teddy bears to domestic violence shelters is the conduit through which we try and ease the pain.

Recently, the students at the school where Heather’s father teaches raised more than $2,000 to go towards Goodnight Sleep kits. We’re so touched and cannot wait to see how the students arrange the bags for the impending donation to the area shelter. I’ll be doing a follow-up on their entire campaign, it’s truly soul reaching.

With that, I ask that you keep Marci, her children, her mother, and her wide-reaching family in your prayers during what will prove to be a heart-wrenching process. May God grant her the strength to carry on through the proceedings and may justice be served in the end.

From the initial strike of the gavel to the delivery of sentence, I hope Marci knows just how much she’s loved, supported, and cared for. Open arms await at every turn, Marci. Stay strong and know that we’ll do anything and everything we can to help. All you have to do is ask.

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