Where’s the Ark?

I know there have been a number of sarcastic posts on this blog about how frustrated I am living in Texas.

And here’s another one.

We recently exited one of the hottest and driest summers on record.

It was so hot and dry that in order to find a year that compared, the local paper had to go all the way back to the days when weather reports were chiseled out on stone tablets by tribal Chiefs.

Telling Dad Factoid: Did you know that it is from this chiseling ritual that the term Chief Meteorologist was derived? It’s true!

Chief is Latin for “Head Honcho”, Meteor is Latin for “Rock From Space”, and ologist is Latin for “Smart Person”. I’m not sure what the marriage of these three words has to do with reporting the weather but who are we to argue with the forefathers of the written word?

For what it’s worth, you may want to consider breaking out this tasty little knowledge nugget at parties or if you find yourself in a job interview. Quote this baby and that job is in the bag.

Anyhow, sorry, I get sidetracked easily. I think I suffer from ADD (Always Digressing Disorder).

Let’s get back to my crabbin’.

So after this super dry landscape-turned-tinderbox summer, many of the area lakes are only at 40%-60% of their capacity. Docks that used to attract swimmers and boaters alike are now sunken into the earth and surrounded by grass and shrubbery.

Need proof? Check out what used to be under water.

Throughout the summertime drought it seemed that everyone around here was praying for rain. The churches used their signage to encourage people to pray for rain. Those who depended on the earth for marketable goods pleaded with people to pray for rain. And those who were tired of seeing their shoes melt on blacktop were praying for rain.

The good news? It worked. The bad news? We should have rationed our prayers.

The rain will not quit tonight, and while this normally wouldn’t be a big deal, the ground was so parched and rock hard that the water is just running a muck. In 2007 we lost our driveway to a deluge of rain and our neighbors driveway was deposited on our front lawn. I’m hoping to awaken tomorrow with the driveway still intact.

Because the water can’t be absorbed by granite or petrified dirt, it has to go somewhere. And that somewhere, is around our home. The rain was so intense for so long that our home is surrounded by water, our pool has overflowed, and our drains are completely bogged up.

I feel like a King for I now have a moat. I also have a jester but he’s asleep. After all, it’s a school night.

Truth be told, this area can’t handle so much rain so quickly as evidenced by the destruction caused in 2007 when we received 18 inches of rain in a matter of hours. Houses, cars, even an entire fleet of limousines were swept away in the subsequent flooding. This downpour isn’t that severe but there will be flooding and a lot of cleanup as a result.

Sigh.

Can’t we just get a few steady sprinkles every now and then? Is it really necessary to store up a summer’s worth of rain and then plop it on us in one full swoop?

I promise to write a positive post about Texas once it gives me a reason to do so outside of barbecues, music, and friends. I need some love from this state. The people are wonderful but I’m talking about the State of Texas itself. Between bugs the size of volkswagons and this unbearable weather I’m just not sure how much more of Texas I can take.

I do feel thankful that the water only lapped at the threshold of our front door because we were inches away from having a major problem. The rain is still falling as I write this, and judging by the radar, we’re in for a long wet night and an even longer day of cleanup.

Fortunately, this is why God invented children.

………….

Update (Bright and Early Thursday morning): The rains stopped over night and I’m not sure the surrounding vegetation knows what to do with the bounty of water. The area schools are on a delay because of flooding and it looks as though my jester and I will be plenty busy this morning. At least we avoided anything serious. Because I don’t do serious.