The Wizard of Uh’s

The airwaves were alive with our first radio show last night, and while I had a great time during the show, listening to the replay afterward was excruciating.

Leading up to showtime I was a bundle of nerves, but I was also really excited. For a number of years, friends and family have been encouraging me to start an internet radio show because I’m “so funny and personable and just a great talker”. I think I delivered anything but this last night.

In contrast to my performance, my co-host, Kadi, is a brilliant speaker…eloquent, energetic, and engaging. You hear her speak and you’re just compelled to keep listening.

Then I come in and start huffing and puffing into the phone like I’m having an asthma attack or getting ready to ask the listeners what they were wearing. I also said “cool” way too much. I said “awesome” way too much. And I most definitely said “uh” and “um” way too much. It was awful and I had NO idea I was even doing it!

I was, uh, pausing constantly while trying to, uh, think of something witty to say. I, uh, think I tried too hard not to be, uh, natural…not to, uh, be myself.

Man was I embarrassed listening to that archive. I don’t write like that and I certainly don’t talk like that! I thought the subject matter was fine and Kadi was fantastic, and I can only hope that I didn’t obliterate my hoards of listeners after bumbling through that mess.

In my never-ending quest to improve myself I went online to research the reasons why people habitually spew out “um’s” and “uh’s” too often and what I can do to stop it.

According to one professional, “The telltale sign of a poor public speaker is the frequent—or in this case, constant—use of “uh” and “um” during a presentation. Those words signify a lack of preparation and a lack of confidence in one’s command of the material.”

Ouch! Last night aside, I actually don’t think I’m a poor public speaker. I enjoy it, I like entertaining people, and I don’t get paralyzed by fear like some do when confronted with speaking to a large group.

I also don’t think it was a lack of preparation. I have 14 years experience being a Dad and it’s hard to not be prepared when it’s your life you’re reflecting on! And I also don’t agree with the thought that I lacked confidence in my command of the material. After all, I was just sharing my own experiences and opinions. There is nothing to memorize and nothing to rehearse.

I think it all went wrong when I lost my own personal vibe and worried too much about what I was saying and how I was saying it. I’m used to saying something I think is funny, await laughter, and then continue. You can’t get this kind of interaction on the radio. It’s just dead silence. Awkward! Kadi will toss in a chuckle or two, god bless her, but it’s going to take some getting used to the fact that I’m talking to air.

Because I can’t gauge the reaction of my listeners, I don’t know if I’m on the right path or just sounding like an idiot. The result is that I sound like an idiot.

So here’s what I’ve decided to do. I’m going to just be me. I’m not going to worry about balancing on some fine line or leaning too far one way or too far the other way. I’ll just throw myself out there and whether or not people respond, I’ll at least feel comfortable that I shared MYSELF and not someone who I think people are looking for.

With that, here are my new four rules for Womb to Bloom Radio.

Radio Rule #1 – Limit the “um’s” and “uh’s”. I’ll never eliminate them but you can bet I’ll work to reduce their number.

Radio Rule #2 – Stop pacing. I pace when I talk on the phone and because I called into the show instead of planting myself at my desk, I was all over the house and losing my train of thought.

Radio Rule #3 – Breathe normal, not like Darth Vadar on valium.

Radio Rule #4 – Just be me. Lay it out there. Exude the wit everyone’s talking about and see if it’s really true.

We’ll see what the next episodes bring and I appreciate those who let me suck an hour of their life away.

I promise, uh, I’ll get better. Hope to see you on next week’s show! Check the forums at http://www.wombtobloom.com/forums/womb-bloom-radio/ for episode updates as we post them.