The Magic is Gone

This is a difficult post to write but I feel it’s important to just be open and honest with those who take the time to visit and read my blog.

As many of you know, my wife has been gone for over a week and isn’t expected home until Thanksgiving. When this much time passes it gives one an opportunity to reflect on things.

I do love my wife, and I miss her, but I’ve come to realize something over the past few days.

I think the magic might be gone.

Surprised? So am I. Did you think this would be a funny post?
Me too. But this is a serious issue.

I used to be able to place dishes on our countertops and have them magically make their way to the dishwasher soon after. I could leave the room, return after a while, and see that they had mysteriously teleported themselves from the counter to the dishwasher and back to the cupboards.

Since Heather left? They just sit there. Like they’re the ones waiting for something to happen.

I’ve tried letting an hour pass, several hours, even overnight. But these dishes won’t budge. I think Heather’s disappearance has upset whatever black magic was at work in this house. Our Feng Shui must be completely unbalanced.

I also used to be able to put my clothes in this plastic round cylinder, wait a day or two, and then find them neatly folded in my dresser or closet. The timing couldn’t be more inconvenient but this magical basket has seemingly lost all of its enchanted powers too.

Perhaps it just needs a sprinkle of pixie dust, but until I find where she keeps it, I think these clothes will continue to pile up.

Dinnertime is exceptionally hard on me because while I sit at the table for hours, nothing appears before me. My stomach growls, my 14-year old complains, but what more can I do if our magical pots and pans don’t crank something out? I tried to nod and blink with folded arms, but I got nothin’.

The litter box isn’t magically emptying itself. The plants are turning brown because the Aqua Fairies have turned into a bunch of slackers. And the floors. Oh, the floors, where are the magical gnomes that skitter-skatter around cleaning up crumbs and pet fuzz?

If there is a magic wand, she took it. And I think she took it so that she could lighten her workload at her parents’ house. Seems selfish and inconsiderate to just take it without asking but what can I say? She snookered me.

So tell me, are there any magical words I can utter? Any deceased magicians I can channel? Or do I have to actually do some of these things myself? Do people still do this? Or are we among the few households blessed by magical chore nymphs?

I can’t wait until Heather returns home. I just hope she remembers to bring the wand.

We need our magic back.

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Update: Thursday, October 29th

For those who think I just sit around and watch my wife do housework all day, lol, I should probably clarify a few things.

First, we are most definitely a 50/50 household. I’m simply forced to handle her 50% while she’s gone. Ok, so perhaps it’s more of an 80/20 split in housework but I swear I’m a giver not a taker. This is simply an homage to her and all she does.

Second, I’m a big baby so I like to complain about effort.

Third, my 14-year old is indeed enlisted for chore duties and it brings a tear to my eye to hear him complain just as I did when I was his age. I swore I wouldn’t be so mean to my own children back then, but after having a few, I totally see where my parents were coming from.

I may not be a house-husband but for those who think I’m lazy, I do lots of other tasks around here. In fact, if I were the one who was gone my wife would be whining about having to keep the couch held down all by herself, having to change channels all by herself, and having to eat all the ice cream without a partner.