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As some of you already know, my wife’s mother continues to heal after having emergency surgery a few weeks ago.
Ever the doting daughter, my wife packed up our two youngest, Michael 8 and Kamryn 17 months, and headed to New York to help her mom recover. Partly because she’s always been devoted to caring for others, but mostly because her mom is a 58-year old toddler who can’t or won’t take care of herself.
I guess the surgery was a pretty serious deal as they rarely use the term “emergency procedure” for something routine. They had to remove part of her small intestine, which I know is arousing many of you, and now she walks around with a colostomy bag attached to her hip. It’s a painful recovery process, but on the plus side, I get to call her a bag lady without it coming off like an insult.
Heather recently called to inform me that she’s been asked to stay through Thanksgiving because the doctors can’t do whatever it is they’re wanting to do because her mom won’t do whatever it is she’s supposed to do. Add in the fact that our 14-year old will be visiting his grandparents for the week of Thanksgiving, and I’ll be all alone.
I can’t even visit my parents for free grub because they are flying to New Jersey to be with the rest of the family who’s ignoring me. I feel shunned.
Rather than sit around the house wallowing over my loneliness I decided to volunteer my time at a homeless shelter so that I could help others. I figured, what better way to spend the holiday if I have to spend it by myself?
Only one problem…they don’t want me.
I have been rejected by every shelter and mission I’ve called. Even Meals-on-Wheels isn’t a big fan of the fact that my car isn’t a minivan or flatbed truck. I then offered to come in the day before Thanksgiving to help with preparation but this wasn’t needed either.
I am worthless to the homeless. According to one shelter, “Everyone wants to volunteer on Thanksgiving so we are turning people away.”
I think it’s kind of sad. Not that people only want to volunteer on major holidays, but because I had no idea so many other husbands were also being abandoned by their families on Thanksgiving.
I understand that some show up to volunteer on holidays just to clear a year-long build up of a guilt, but I’m legitimate, baby! I figured Thanksgiving would be a labor-intensive day and hoped that my presence would be welcomed. Oh, how I misread the needy!
Well, I’m not giving up. I vow to find a way to help someone, somewhere this Thanksgiving. I just need to figure out who will have me.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I can figure out a way for you to help ME!!! Gimme time.
.-= Janis @ SneakPeek´s last blog ..A Thousand Words Thursday – You're My Hero! =-.
How about host a dinner at your place for a needy family? Um, you can cook, right? No problem! Pre-order Thanksgiving Meal and stop by Marie Callender's for a couple of Festive Pies the day before and you're in like Flynn! Back in San Antonio (Lackland AFB to be exact) many families throughout the city would host young Basic Trainees this 1 day out of the year, these young honorable kids far away from family & friends. We'd sponsor several trainees and seeing their smiles hearing their laughter: worth it every year. Then, there's always volunteering at animal shelters over the Holiday if you can't cook & your ordering food skills seems to have escaped you: dogs need walks. Regular volunteers will probably be with family.
.-= Litlalaska´s last blog ..Here’s Why We Don’t Follow Celebrities =-.
You can come stay with me for Thanksgiving if you like! It's cold up here though, so pack a sweater.
I am also looking for someone to need me, so if you find someone that's looking for a cute and charming secretary/artist/coffee girl/anything within reason, do let me know.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..You have been approved =-.
oh wow, I guess I wouldn't have thought of it like that! Another idea instead of inviting people to your home would be to prepare a meal, pack up a few plates and go to a place you know has a need. There are certain spots that people hang out out here and panhandle. If the shelters are full and don't have enough there's bound to be someone who isnt going to one.
Also, if you know someone else friendwise that has noone either, it would be nice to spend with them. Sorry you can't fly to see your wife and family
.-= Melanie B´s last blog ..Twilight Dress Giveaway! =-.
I'm loving these ideas and it's already inspired a few phone calls for the morning. I'll keep everyone posted but keep the good ideas coming!
I am shocked – I had no idea they turned people away from helping! I wonder if Meals-on-Wheels needs extra people to deliver Thanksgiving meals?
If all else fails, come to California – my family and I will take you out for a night on the town!
.-= Jennifer-Eighty MPH Mom´s last blog ..The Eighty MPH Mom is taking a small break! =-.
Ok, knowing you & "Mrs. Telling Dad" as I do, I can say this. Your wife needs you, your kids need you, and since the "14 yr old" is going with in an hour of your wife I think you should come north! SURPRISE HER!
(You can edit me out if you want.) XO
That is really odd. I can't believe there is no one near you who could use your help for Thanksgiving. I would have thought places would be begging for help around the holidays. I guess I was wrong.
I like Litlalaska idea about feeding a needy family at your place.
.-= Rob´s last blog ..Our night at Disney On Ice Celebrations =-.
I have a friend who hosts all her work colleagues who don't have family in the area for dinner at her place. You could do something like that for your neighbors that you like whom you know will be on their own for the holiday. You could also check around with any restaurants that are serving a free meal that day. I know some here take volunteers for the day when they offer Thanksgiving dinner to the masses.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Birthday Boy =-.
Have you tried O.A.R.S. I know she was rebuilding the non-profit since being really sick. If you do decide to host a family(PLEASE be very careful doing that) The River City Grill is open and my brother-in-law takes pre-orders for seasoned and cooked turkeys that are refrigerated. You just pop them in the oven to heat up.
Hmm…are there any local churches doing something for Thanksgiving that you could help at? Otherwise, you're welcome to come over and help me handle my in-laws for the holiday. They drive me NUTS-O sometimes and I could really use someone around to keep me laughing.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Aloha Friday ~ 11/06 =-.
do you have a Ronald McDonald House near you. I volunteered on thanksgiving on year to help out with the big dinner and cleaning up and stuff.
.-= Melinda´s last blog ..Ronald McDonald House Charities is in it for the families =-.
I am having the same problem right now! They have been telling me that they do not want my help since Tuesday and I cannot find anywhere that will have me!!
My parents have retired and are 3 hours away, and I will be seeing them tomorrow. I thought that this year year, above all, would be a terrific year for me to lend my services- Anything! I was wrong.. 