I’m Right Here, Ladies!

by Telling Dad on August 2, 2009

austinI had no idea this was happening, but apparently, some major hotties are having a difficult time finding me.

They’re a tad late since I’m happily married and eternally devoted to the woman of my dreams, but at least the decades-old question of “What the heck is wrong with me?” is finally being answered.

It wasn’t my awkward looks that kept me perpetually dateless. It was my lack of visibility.

With the help of Facebook, I have been found and befriended by high school classmates who I once suspected were mutes. Not a word was spoken between us 20+ years ago yet here we are using Facebook as a platform to reconnect.

Akin to a nod in the hall, we acknowledge each other’s existence with a few mouse-clicks, and then comfortably resume our roles of ignoring each other for all of eternity. Long live vapid relationships!

Aside from being searched for by people who required a yearbook refresher-flip to remember, I’ve noticed a significant uptick in the number of sexy babes seeking my digits.



Your search is over, ladies, but you’re too late. Perhaps if Facebook had been around in the early 90′s we could have had something special. You, me, silicone. But alas, you will have to keep pining away for me from afar.

I can’t say I’m surprised that over-inflated sorority sisters are after me. After all, I’m 38, lanky, and balding. Easy girls. Compose yourself. There’s plenty of me to go around.

My wife tries her best to convince me that these are just ads but the timing is just too coincidental to ignore. I mean, aside from the fact that I’m a debonair playboy with a hint of James Dean, you need to remember that I’m now a nationally recognized crooner. Babes love this.

“Honey, trust me. They’re just ads.”

I have to laugh. Jealousy sure makes her say some nutty things now and then.

I think her denial is cute.

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Stefanie August 2, 2009 at 8:10 am

lol You'd better watch yourself now with those Flirty Girl Fitness videos…you might turn on too many women! ;)
.-= Stefanie´s last blog ..Safety Tat WINNER!!! =-.


Marianna @ Green Mam August 2, 2009 at 8:16 am

LOL. This line is oh so true :

"Akin to a nod in the hall, we acknowledge each other’s existence with a few mouse-clicks, and then comfortably resume our roles of ignoring each other for all of eternity. Long live vapid relationships!"
.-= Marianna @ Green Mama's Pad´s last blog ..The Safe Sippy 2 Review and Giveaway =-.


Cindi @ Moomette&#03 August 2, 2009 at 8:38 am

So now I'm a Grandma Groupie? "Nationally recognized crooner" Even James Dean was a little before my time, but I'll settle! :)
.-= Cindi @ Moomette's Magnificents´s last blog ..Sunset at the Mouth of the Connecticut River – Wordless Wednesday =-.


Rhea@mommy23monkeys August 2, 2009 at 8:56 am

OMGosh. You kill me.


Night Owl Mama August 2, 2009 at 8:56 am

Ooo yes totally Sexy your saught after by many….STROKE that ego WIFEY he loves it!!
.-= Night Owl Mama´s last blog ..Solo Squared Photo Contest- $5,000 Grand Prize =-.


Heather Z August 2, 2009 at 9:21 am

I think I need to find the parental controls on his Facebook page.


Casey August 2, 2009 at 9:46 am

Don't you just hate those ads…. er.. I mean.. WOW!! What an awesome confidence booster!

I bet they are waiting for you to finish your flirty girl workouts so they can offer you a job. Of course, you may have to get "enhanced" up top.
.-= Casey´s last blog ..A little bread, some news, and free museums! =-.


Kadi August 2, 2009 at 11:20 am

I agree. She is just jealous. Any man that uses the phrase "peeky loo" is way HOT and in severe danger of being groped and seduced when out in public. In fact, you should probably stay in the house until things calm down.


BRANDY August 2, 2009 at 3:42 pm

SOOOOOO Thats why you were holding back at the pool!! So many women paying attention now you had to go incognito LOL


Lisa @ Crazy Adventu August 2, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Heather. LMAO!

The sad thing is, is while those are ads, those are pictures taken from Facebook accounts to market Facebook. Nice, huh? So those chicks may very well be real and on Facebook. Look out, silicone dead ahead! (At least, if Heather has her way) lol
.-= Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting´s last blog ..Poetry at the Park =-.


Mr. Blonde August 2, 2009 at 7:35 pm

I don’t know if the aforementioned silicone or your height are more unnatural.
.-= Mr. BlondeĀ“s last blog ..in the words of Tom Petty =-.


Amanda August 3, 2009 at 1:12 am

Hey I think I had a couple of those girls try to follow me on twitter wanting me to see their sexy pics. Better watch out for those gold diggers after seeing your Flirty Girl videos.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Affected =-.


Shannon August 3, 2009 at 5:58 am

You're so funny Greg. Next time I'm in Austin (1 1/2 hours from me) I'm going to look for you on a billboard… I think you'll be there soon! :)
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..SONIC® America’s Drive-In Review and Giveaway =-.


Jennifer August 3, 2009 at 6:45 am

Oh my goodness you are a riot!

I alas was not one of the hotties you named as a FB follower. I understand, I am happily married (to a balding man), I am older then you (and who want s an older woman?), and I have 3 teenage boys (the word teen conjures up fear). *sigh* Good thing I am happy being a mum and wife! :)

I agree, your wife is most likely in utter denial. ;)
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Not Me! Monday =-.


Firefly August 3, 2009 at 7:21 am

LOL OK first John (was that his name) now this ;) I don't know what to tell ya!


Telling Dad August 3, 2009 at 7:38 am

@Firefly – John is simply the man I'm supposed to marry (according to Facebook) but this proves that I still have it goin' on with the ladies.

This Mom Erin August 3, 2009 at 9:44 am

Poor Heather. I hope she's got her stick in hand to keep the ladies away from you with. I don't envy her even a little bit.
.-= This Mom Erin´s last blog ..Tres Sleek: Deux Sleeve GIVEAWAY! =-.


Simplyunique August 3, 2009 at 4:51 pm

LOL you are 2 much!
.-= Simplyunique´s last blog ..Blog Hop – Encouragement =-.


Jennifer October 27, 2009 at 8:22 am

Oh boy – this is so true about Facebook – people that you barely knew pop up, you become "friends" and then still never speak to them again. Mutes…(giggle)

You might want to hide, you are getting quite popular!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..TAKE ME BACK TUESDAY – Wedding Day =-.


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