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I’ll admit that of all the social networking sinkholes scattered about the internet, Facebook is the only one I really have any use for.
I did jump aboard the Twitter craze a while back like some mindless lemming but even that is about to get Twicked to the curb because I just don’t get it. And I’m quite sure I’m not doing it right.
I’m verbose by nature and limiting me to 140 characters is flagrant censorship. In fact, the only thing motivating me to stay on board is the love I have for my Twitter buttons.
Even with all the affection I have for Facebook, the quizzes plastered across everyone’s walls leave me scratching my head. Have you seen these things? Am I missing something?
How does the fact that I like Chocolate Chip Cookies, Khaki Shorts, and Winter tell the programming goons behind these quizzes that I’d be “Jupiter” if I were a planet?
Yet even with as ridiculously inaccurate and as random as these quizzes are, we still take them. And, to make sure we pay the lameness forward, we go ahead and post the results for everyone to enjoy. We just can’t help ourselves in perpetuating the nonsense and this further encourages the goons to dream up new batches of life-defining calculations.
If you were a fly on the war room wall at Quiznerd Enterprises do you think you’d witness a bunch of scraggly geniuses scribbling out algorithms on whiteboards? Are they going postal on each other over contested theorems and triangulations? Are they throwing pocket protectors with reckless abandon and calling out eachothers mommas as Klingons? All in a concerted effort towards accuracy?
I doubt it.
On the plus side, I’ve actually learned a few things about myself that I never knew.
Let’s take a look.
Not bad. I always thought I was hip to the younger generations. Nice to see that I'll be welcomed with open arms at any frat party.
Frat party acceptance assured now.
How 'bout we compromise and just call me a Badass Nerd?
I'm currently 6' 7". This one scares me.
I decided to take one more quiz and it didn’t disappoint. It actually does the best job of illustrating my point.
Here are the questions it asked and the answers I gave:
What type of food do you like?
BBQ
What do you look for in a person?
Humor
What is your favorite sport to watch?
Football
What is your hobby?
Computer
What is your favorite color?
Blue
The result?
Heather...we need to talk.
How about you? Have you taken one of these quizzes? If so, what’s the most ridiculous, off-base, wacky result you’ve seen? If you’d rather not admit you took one then how about sharing something you’ve learned about a friend or family member that you wouldn’t have known without an insightful Facebook quiz.
Of course, if you don’t find them completely inane and pointless then perhaps you’re among the four who Facebook felt obligated to diss.
Well that's news.
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL! That’s hilarious. I take those FB quizzes sometimes because I’m bored, but seriously, you always have me laughing! thanks, Greg!
too funny Greg! marry john, love that.
the only one that I thought was bizarre (and I don’t take them often) is when I wanted to see what Michael Jackson song I am. It told me I was Black or White. I am so clearly Billie Jean. I don’t know how it messed that one up.
LMAO.
I have to agree with Cheryl, I only take them because I am bored BUT I did find it amusing that I would be arrested for Illegal Hunting considering I don’t hunt. I guess one more reason not to huh?? OH but the how long would I last in the Ghetto was pretty accurate!! It said i would last about 5 min LOL
@cheryl – Thank you so much and hopefully that trend will continue!
@karissa – Billie Jean even RHYMES with Prissy Green. They sure did miss an obvious one.
@brandy – 5 minutes? That’s five times longer than I’d last. What’s your secret?
“I’m verbose by nature and limiting me to 140 characters is flagrant censorship.” Me, too. I hate that twitter doesn’t let you get out a complete thought in actual English. It bugs me. I saw somewhere that there was a way to use more than 140 characters, but I can’t find the post anymore.
“Are they throwing pocket protectors with reckless abandon and calling out each others mommas as Klingons?” LOL This reminds me of a song…maybe you’ve heard it? “There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow. There’s Klingons on the starboard bow. Scrape ‘em off, Jim!”
Nice post. I RARELY do those quizzes, they are annoying. The last one I did, I was told I was a “Bette”, as in Bette Davis. Hold on to your hats, it’s going to be a bumpy ride! LOL I needed something to post that day.
Oh, I think I did something for my “Sawyer” name from Lost. That was funny.
Too funny! I’m not much for taking the quizzes but your results were hysterical. Maybe I’m missing out on one of the big joys in life??
I do the Twitter thing but only to follow sports some celebrities and comedians that make me laugh. Nobody cares what Jerry DuBrava is doing at this second. I do love the FB and probably spend to much time on it. As a stay home dad there is only so much Dora the Explorer I can take.I wonder Greg will John be watching the Flirty-Girl- Challenge?LOL
OMG that’s hilarious!
Hi my name is AJ and I’m a FB quiz addict. Yes I admit it. But you see it’s only because I get a kick out of the ridiculous questions and results.
LOL These quizzes crack me up everytime!
I have to wonder if it was the bbq or hobby question that led to John. Too funny!
LMAO… next time you sleep on a couch know it’s mostly because of John LOL but now really 4 of your friends on Facebook are idiots…now wondering was I ….no my IQ is so much more than that…
Facebook has some interesting ways to revile who we are…but really John???
Yeah, I have NO idea how this dude John came into the picture. I thought these quizzes were capable of determining the gender of the person taking the quiz, and if this one did, then I have some serious self-reflecting to do. Perhaps they heard of my Flirty Girl Challenge?
the quizzes are funny–I see A LOT of ppl taking the “when will you get married” quiz and the “how many kids will you have” and I just think WOW you are that desperate right now? Why don’t they just go to a psychic like us normal ppl do?