Michael: “Well, I’ll bet a lot of them died back then.”
me: “Yes, but they usually died from disease, not careening into a tree at 4 mph.”
Michael: “Still, if you hit a tree even going slow and you don’t have an airbag then you can still hit your head and head injuries are among the #1 killers.”
me: “AMONG the #1 killers? You can only have one #1.”
Michael: “Why didn’t they invent airbags?”
me: “Because they were busy inventing America. And how are you going to install an airbag on a horse?”
Michael: “Well, they should have invented cars.”
True enough. Stupid pioneers.
I later told Michael that he was famous on Twitter after I shared his question about airbags in early American history.
He looked disappointed.
me: “What’s the matter? It’s good to be famous!”
Michael: “Yeah, but I don’t get any money for it. I need money.”
me: “Why’s that?”
Michael: “Because I’m broke!”
me: “No you’re not. You still have $300 in your bank account.”
Michael with head in hands: “I left that bank account in Texas. I’m broke now.”
I suppose I could explain to him that banking is nationwide, even if you move, but it might be easier to let him assume his money is gone. It’ll be harder for him to waste it if he doesn’t know it’s there.
Welcome back for another weekly installment of Monday Mingle! I’ve made the move to Vimeo because this week’s mingle is 12 minutes long and YouTube has a 10-minute time limit unless you’re famous.
Which I’m clearly not.
At least, not until the 2011 Hot Blogger Calendar is released.
I’m Mr. February, y’all!
This week’s mingle ran a little long because I wanted to give a shout out to my Internet Boo, Gena of TheMorrisBunchBlog.com. She is 33 weeks pregnant and started to experience signs of labor. Worried about a premature birth, her doctor wants her to stay close to the hospital and under monitoring. Being 50 miles away from her daughters is excruciating and she’s miserable!
I’m hoping to elicit some positive vibes so that she doesn’t dilate any further than she already has. Let’s keep that lil’ sugar bun in the oven just a little while longer.
Stay positive Gena! Know that our thoughts are with you and Stoney! You and your cervix will be in my thoughts. But totally not in a creepy way.
With that, let’s roll!
For those unaware, Monday Mingle is a weekly video blog where a series of questions, topics or ideas are answered and discussed by participating bloggers. Jennifer over at Eighty MPH Mom posts the questions and then bloggers answer them vlog-style.
If you read my previous post about the upcoming 2011 Hot Blogger calendar then you know how much I want to be included.
You also know that I tried to go Hollywood in my quest to be selected as the face of February.
I had Hollywood hair, Hollywood shades, a Hollywood suit coat, Hollywood mystique, even a Hollywood chest thicket that doubled as a furry little playground for the ladies.
But I was so enamored by the glitz and glamor of Hollywood that I completely lost sight of the fact that along with Hollywood fame comes Hollywood scrutiny. As alluring as Hollywood can be, there always seems to be people lurking in the shadows just waiting for an opportunity to tear you down.
Hollywood loves it a scandal. And tonight? An illicit photo helped it score another victim.
Me.
I knew that the Hot Blogger calendar contest was going to be competitive and I expected it to be marred by reprehensible tactics as nominees jostled for an advantage. I just never expected to be a target.
Personally, and I have no proof of this, I’m inclined to believe that it was Jim of Busy Dad Blog fame who distributed the photo. He is up for a repeat appearance and anyone who uses raw hamburger for ear plugs can’t be all there.
But alas, knowing who leaked the photo is irrelevant at this point. Right now it’s all about damage control…and honesty.
Yes, the photo shoot occurred. Yes, it was a nude. And yes, I regret it.
I was really hoping to keep my privates private as it’s not something I’m proud of (the photo, not my privates. I’m actually quite proud of those). But when you’re hungry for fame and fortune, and a magazine offers both in exchange for a harmless little full-frontal photo shoot, you disrobe at the opportunity.
As a role model for today’s youth, I realize now that I should have used better judgment. It’s just difficult to have clarity when you’re marinating in a pool of naked.
Perhaps this photo coming to light will hurt my chances. Then again, maybe the Hot Blogger calendar folks will ask me to embrace the controversy and repeat the pose. Only time will tell.
Quite honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with the photo. I’m naked, so what. I actually think I’m a doll. Others just think I have a screw loose. I’ll let you be the judge.
You wouldn’t know it by looking at me, but I’m gorgeous.
Please don’t feel bad if you’ve gone all this time without realizing it. I actually had no idea, either.
Not until the insightful gals over at “Hot Blogger Calendar” saw something in me that no one else has…that my scruffy face and Body by Pillsbury physique [...]
With our move complete and new home practically empty, my wife and I ventured off to IKEA in search of some deals on well-formed particle board.
I’m not really a big fan of furniture shopping but IKEA’s Swedish meatballs keep pulling me back in. Not just because they’re super tasty, but because their meatballs are [...]
Wow, it’s been a while!
But here we are again with another installment of Monday Mingle. YouTube is giving me a hassle because I used some Black Eyed Peas music as my intro but I think they’d be all for it. I do it justice.
For those unaware, Monday Mingle is a weekly video blog [...]
I love Craigslist. When we were moving, and the movers told us that they couldn’t fit all of our possessions onto the truck, we had one day to either sell off the goods or leave them abandoned. It took less than 2 hours to sell everything that remained. Ka-ching!
I also love Craigslist as a buyer. [...]
Over the past six months I’ve written a lot about my disdain for much of what we’ve experienced while here in Texas.
Scorpions that drop from the ceiling, wasps that wield harpoons for stingers, fire ants that have no purpose on earth beyond spreading venom and misery, oppressive heat, and grass that I firmly believe [...]
When you envision a nice soothing massage, what comes to mind?
Lit candles? Quiet sleepytime music? The subtle aroma of exotic herbs and oils?
How about ham hocks, deer noggins, and slabs of cow?
My wife and I were driving through the winding country roads of New York when we stumbled across this gem of a home-based business. [...]
I’ve read a number of opinion pieces and comments slamming the relief efforts underway for the victims of the earthquake in Haiti and I have to respectfully disagree with their viewpoints.
The basis of their argument is that there are enough needs here in America…why should we help some foreign country? Why should we divert funds, [...]
As those of you who follow me on Twitter know by now, the trial of James Mammone III ended with a verdict of Guilty on All Counts. It was an expected verdict but one we longed to hear anyhow. Now that this phase is over, we’re one step closer to final justice.
Next Tuesday, the sentencing [...]
I apologize for the last month of virtual silence but I at least wanted to share why I’ve been M.I.A.
I can’t write.
I want to write. I simply can’t.
It’s not from a lack of ideas, topics, or funny stories that I want to share. I have plenty of those. I’m simply finding it difficult to [...]
Update: For those interested, the local newspaper is providing an in-trial blog as the proceedings continue. Not that this creep is anything to look at anyhow but they chose quite a sinister photo for the header.
I can’t begin to imagine the surge of emotions Marci will experience tomorrow as she walks through those courtroom doors [...]
RobMonroe on Did the Pioneers Have Airbags? "True enough. Stupid pioneers." might be the funniest line I've read all week!
.-= RobMonroe´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Jamie on Did the Pioneers Have Airbags? Too funny! I can't wait til my girls are old enough for me to have these conversations with. I say ...
Cheryl on Did the Pioneers Have Airbags? Seriously? Michael cracks me up!!! That's hilarious that his money is still in Texas!
.-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Did You Know? ...
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Welcome back for another weekly installment of Monday Mingle! I’ve made the move to Vimeo because this week’s mingle is 12 minutes long and YouTube has a 10-minute time limit unless you’re famous.
